Sorry, What’s Your Name Again?
Does remembering names ever get any easier?
Validating a patient's existence by using their name has enormous positive impact, I know this and firmly believe in the principle. Unfortunately though, this is one of the things I really struggle with. Always have. Probably always will.
I'm a naturally polite person, so it's important in my paramedic role (and other aspects of life, of course) that I show due respect in this way. I have never been great at remembering names and am always glad to know that I'm not alone, lots of us have the same issue, we see so many new faces during every shift. The struggle is real.
The problem that I inadvertently create for myself is that I like to use people's names in conversation. It's part of my toolkit in gaining rapport under challenging circumstances. Or connecting with an extremely stressed, unwell patient when I need to ask personal information or provide firm instruction for safety during a difficult extrication or intervention.
When I was new to the job, I would write the patient's name on my glove so that I could refer back to it. Until I got caught. Luckily that patient and their family saw the funny side instantly. "Did you just write my name on your glove?" they asked. A source of much amusement for everyone on scene, including my partner, as I blushed and tried to explain my dilemma. I realised that they probably weren't the first person to notice, they were just the first to actually mention it. Lesson duly learned, this tactic only repeated a couple of times since, when knowing and remembering a name was absolutely vital to the call
I tried the old "associate their name with a story" trick but to no avail. I'd forget the story just as quickly as the name, then waste time and attention floundering for one or the other. That one went into the bin a long time ago, and I haven't brought it back out since.
It isn't just patients, I'll also forget my crewmate's name, much to my embarrassment and occasionally their disappointment. Walking into a scene saying "Hi, my name's Tammie and this is my colleague …" as I look around to check who I'm working with for that shift.
More than once I have even overused the wrong name, it makes me cringe to think about it.
The worst instance was in a hidden outbuilding at the back of a house, full of intoxicated adults when working with a new student. We had taken all safety measures on arrival. Still, it was one of those calls where no-one could have known that there were so many people squeezed into the small space, full of smoke, alcohol and a whole lot of noise.
If we'd retreated and walked away, the atmosphere would likely have changed instantly, potentially becoming volatile. With no way to communicate this concern to my crewmate without alerting everyone else, the best option was to speak loudly and firmly to the intoxicated patient. I hoped that he would be able to concentrate enough to work with us in treating his medical emergency so that we could all get out of there.
We had been given his name by friends as we entered, so, while preparing equipment and medication, we used it loudly when trying to gain history and explain our plan. The more we attempted to address the issue, the more he wanted to yell over us, making his breathing worse and the job almost impossible. In an attempt to help him slow down respiratory effort and concentrate on oxygenation, I crouched down, pulling out my loudest and best "mum" voice to catch his attention. Calling his name, along with clear instructions firmly and directly, while the lovely student I was partnered up with bent down to listen, too.
My crewmate seemed incredibly attentive to everything I said, nodding emphatically at every word and staring right at me, but the patient paid no heed whatsoever. Then a helpful voice called from the crowd "His name is…" I had been using the student's name, not the patient's!
Much hilarity ensued, of course. It must have been comical to watch, the onlookers knew I was using my partner's name as I had introduced us both on arrival, and he knew that I was accidentally giving the breathing coaching to him, but no-one really knew why. No wonder he'd been so attentive! He stood up straight, looking relieved as he exclaimed "I thought you were talking to me, I was trying to show you I was listening, but you just kept going."
Funnily enough, as soon as we started again with the correct name, the patient was able to focus, concentrate and soon began to feel better.
Later, we were both almost in tears as we laughed about the situation. The less our patient listened, the more I used his name and increased my volume, but the more my poor colleague had to try and demonstrate to me that he was listening, too.
Luckily I didn't put him off all paramedics and preceptors and he's gone on to be a great clinician, an absolute pleasure to work with. I must ask the next time I see him if he's come up with any tips for remembering names that he can teach me.
So what's the secret? I honestly have no idea. The thing that I have found works best for me, most of the time, is from an article from several years ago is Forbes' The Five Best Tricks To Remember Names. What struck me most when it popped up on my screen was the author highlighting the pressure of some roles or situations, when so many aspects vying for attention all at once makes it difficult to hold on to less urgent details. It felt highly applicable to prehospital care.
In suggesting that the reader simply decides to care about recalling a name, for the patient’s sake, it seemed blindingly obvious. Still, it wasn't something I had prioritised until then. Of course, I have always cared for patients and their loved ones, but I was so desperate to solve the issue, so I could cross it off my to-do list and nail the skill, that I started caring more about my approach than simply the problem itself.
Since then, I've accepted that sometimes I will forget, and sometimes I'll call a person the wrong name, but I rely on the fact that being friendly, polite, respectful and professional smoothes it over almost every time it happens. When I arrive at any scene, I generally introduce myself and my crewmate to whoever greets us, then ask their name and how they're connected to the patient.
It seems to give me the breadcrumbs of a trail towards the end goal. I think that maybe I tap into the writer's part of my brain, where I begin to build a story and relate the characters. When I forget, or I'm not sure, I stop using names at all, just in case. Once I get to see a prescription medication, hospital discharge summary or other related evidence, I have a chance to remind myself and stay on track.
It's even better when I'm entering details into the cardiac monitor, patient report form, or writing down a list of information that I'll need for pre-notification and get to ask for the correct spelling. It's like a free pass, without having to let the patient know that the word most memorable to them, has slipped through the gaps in my mind.
When I really don't know, I just apologise, confess and ask. It's not often that anyone is offended and I reassure myself that in doing so, I'm showing that I care enough to want to know.
If you have any tips to share, I'd love to hear them, and I'll do my best to remember your name when quoting your words of wisdom in the future!
Photo from Shutterstock
